I just caught up with five days worth of missing tumblr
Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker
Achrioptera punctipes punctipes
The most colorful phasmid in the world.
HOLY SHIT, IT’S A LISA FRANK INSECT
I am never using the phrase “colours that do not exist in nature” ever again.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
A great idea to connect the future with the past, seal your digital secrets with an old-school wax-sealing. The Top secret usb.
our weapons are for conquering shit-high-cas
OBVIOUSLY fuck you dont need that many bullets unless you’re taking down the nonbelievers
Unique revolver made in Spain, 3 barrels, 18 shots, 3 firing pins, 6.35mm pistol cartridge (Via)
Weapons of mass conquering, yo.
this explains so much about our generation
(Source: skyerockett)
why am i awake
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
This is pretty much how I feel about Zooey Deschanel : |
apparently when you drop a gummy bear into potassium
it opens a portal to hell
you can see the fear in that little guy’s eyes
